Getting Frisked

My Dear Myfanwy

Oh Lord, why on earth did we come home? We had such a good time away, plenty of food, good weather, drink (opps suppose I’d better not mention the drink). God my arms were sore carrying all that booze from the duty free shop. Was worried we would get stopped and thrown into prison or worse! Mind you I would enjoy being man-handled!!!!

Was so disappointed I never got frisked at the airport, would have been the thrill of the holiday. However, it’s ok if it a tall dark stranger, but God those woman are like gorillas!!!!

Hands like bloody shovels, and faces that look like they could crack any window within a few feet!

Oh dear, love my arse, it does let me down from time to time. Gattling gun hahahaha - they were rolling down my legs like marbles. Problem is once I start I can’t stop, as you have discovered, but hey ho better out than in and I don’t think too many people heard! If they did I’d blame you anyway …

Sounds like you’re having a right old time since you been back. The Twat in the Hat and the mindless drivel, it’s enough to bore a glass eye to sleep. It’s not been much better round here I have to say. My highlight was the window cleaners again this week - thank God they come every four weeks, bloody highlight. Well a girl has to have some eye candy, trouble is I make so much mess on the insides, they look horrendous.

Talking of eye candy, flaming Norah, those security guards on the boat trip were well tasty. I could see your tongue hanging out when that Greek God passed, rippling muscles to die for and that tight little cute arse in those rather tight black trousers ... oh Lordy Lord! Chuck a bucket of water over me right now, I’m becoming all unnecessary!!!!!

Baby you were dribbling!! Not a good glamour look, especially in your hat and sunglasses looking oh so “Audrey” - will get you a bib next time. Well suppose it’s good to reminisce, keeps the juices flowing. What else do we have to look forward too, eh?

It’s quiet round here, fidget and widget are sleeping, worn themselves out today. New neighbours so they have had to investigate everything, running up and down the bloody garden like headless chickens, scared they're going to miss something. And him in doors giving a running commentary on the goings on … ffs leave me be I really don’t want to hear it. I was trying to read me book and kept reading the same bloody line 20 times over, till I knew it off by heart! Dear lord, give me strength … considering digging up the patio and putting him in it!

Well, Fanny I’d best be gone. I’m getting all maudling and feeling sorry for myself, so off to pour a rather large one, have a soak in the tub and daydream of warmer climates. So with nothing else to report, I’m off.

Speak soon

With love from your ever suffering friend with alcohol withdrawal

Morwenna x