Dear
Morwenna
Jeez, what
pissing weather to come back home to. After such a brilliant week away, I’ve
come back down to earth with a sodding great bump.
I do wish
you could get your farting under control a bit more. That poor bloke, no wonder
he never spoke to you – the stench alone would have rendered him speechless.
Remember the night we walked into the Old Town? Honestly Mor, you was like a
bloody gattling gun going off all the way down the hill. Just a well you didn’t
let rip in the hotel – the Germans would have dived for cover.
Must admit
I’ve not done too much since we’ve been back. He has not stopped talking since
I got home, bloody mindless drivel. Who sodding cares about the price of
bananas at Waitrose compared to Sainsburys compared to the market. Ye Gods, I
do lose the will at times – I’m surprised he’s managed to stay alive this long
to be honest.
He’s bought
himself a new hat for the summer! It’s like a Panama but not the real thing of
course. But he wears it in the most peculiar way, it’s kind of perched right on
the top of his head. I tell you, one gust of wind and it’ll be gone – best you
don’t pop round for a while!!!! Anyway, talk about the Twat in the Hat – it’s bloody
hard not to laugh. He gets the right hump if I mention the angle of the hat –
I’m not going out with him if he insists on wearing it like that!
I’ve
managed to potter about a bit in the garden and put some new plants in. But
even putting a few plants in a pot is a bloody fiasco in this house. I got a
tray of lovely fuscias, that deep purple and pink colour, and the Twat in the
Hat decides he’s going to help. What does he do? Drops the bloody tray on its
head and breaks all the sodding flowers off! Anyway, I planted them in the
hopes that they’ll flower at some point this year but we’ve now got a trough
full of headless bloody plants. Then I turn around and the sodding cat is
digging down to Australia in there! FFS!!!!!!!
Honestly
Mor, I think I need to go away again.
That’s
about all the news I have at the moment. We really do need to get a bit of
excitement going soon.
Speak soon,
Lots of
Love
Myfanwy
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