Sorry love, it's been a while since my last letter but bloody hell, where does the time go.
I must just say that you really do have to stop throwing yourself at the security guards in the airport. Those guys are not going to frisk you. They are on look out for much younger flibbertigibbets who have firmer bodies and are still quite pert. They will simply hand you over to the Gorilla Women and you'll most likely end up having a cavity search! Be warned because that will not be pleasant.
So what news do I have - well the Twat in the Hat is still stalking the local shops doing price comparisons and then regaling the unsuspecting listener as to where the best bargains are to be had. He ought to get a spot on that Martin Lewis programme about money - apparently he can help you save a fortune. Shame he doesn't bloody well save us a fortune.
You know Mor we haven't had a good night out in ages, have we. Mind you, we do have a couple of things coming up soon which I know we'll make the most of. We've got a coffee date with that nice young man. Coffee my arse. I'm not wasting my time with a nice young man drinking coffee and I'm sure you won't. Mind you, I will have to keep my eye on you to make sure you're not dribbling, you make such a bloody mess all down yourself.
Really ought to start preparing myself now I think. I tell you what though, I got that many sodding hairs growing out my chin now that it takes me an hour just to pluck me face before I can be seen in public. What the fuck is going on? I think me pubes are growing up on me insides searching for daylight and sprouting out me face. I'll be invited to join the bloody circus soon. Is this happening to you? Now I understand why me Nan was so prickly when she kissed me. Jeez, I don't like this at all Mor, not at all.
Well better go now love and get some dinner going. Not sure what I'll do yet, but I'm sure the fridge is stacked to the gunnels with special sodding offers!
Take care love and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Lots of Love
Myfanwy
xxx
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