Saturday, 27 April 2019

Hospital Toilets


My dearest old friend Myf

This weather over the holiday was amazing wasn’t it? Hope to God it wasn't our summer and it’s been and gone! Flaming Norah your nose - if it’s anything like the one you had last year on holiday it’s like a beacon shining out in the night. Aircraft round here may think you're guiding them in! Don’t stay outside too long will you?

I’m worried about you with those hair straighteners and that you’re going to frazzle your hair and it snaps off. You’re meant to dry your hair first! For God’s sake don’t use it on wet hair, you’ll electrocute yourself! You do worry me Myf, you do need some lessons.

Mind you, we've had so many lessons over the years, and some extraordinary ones. Remember that time we got tied upside down to a tree in Greece and those blokes threw rotten tomatoes at us. What fun eh? Best part was skinny dipping to try and get rid of those tomato pips. Bloody hell, the places they could get into! Thinking of that is really making me rather HOT under the collar, phew …. best off for a cold shower. But maybe we need to have another little adventure soon, it’s been so long. Best get me thinking cap on.

Oh dear Myf, I think I’ve got a water infection. I’ve been up and down to the hospital recently and I always worry about using the loos in those places. Now I can’t stop peeing. I feel like I want to pee, nearly pee myself thinking about wanting to pee, then when I do go to pee, I nearly pee myself before I pee! Blimey, that was hard work telling you all about my peeing!

So cranberry juice is going in like nobody’s business. I’m sure I’ll be peeing pure cranberry soon. Be glad when it’s gone, I’m wearing a hole in my floor trotting back and forward, in out in out …. and the amount of loo roll well, there is another story.

Alcohol is off limits and I really do fancy a trip down the river with a couple of bottles to reminisce. Let’s take a waterproof blanket for your piles and If I wee myself, then all will be well too.

Dear lord Myf I’ve gotta go again,
Duty calls

Hope to catch up soon
Love Mor x

#hospitaltoilets #toilets #waterinfection #pee #Greece #tomatoes #skinnydipping #tomatopips


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