Horse Shit

Dear Mor

For God sake get some bloody teeth – I’m not going out with you until you get some.

Must just tell you this – there was this woman riding a horse down our street last week, right hoity toity piece she looked too, but the horse had a massive great shit. I thought that would be so good for me roses so I rushed out with me bucket and shovel but tripped and fell head first into the steaming pile. As if that wasn’t bad enough, this car pulled up and this lovely deep male voice asked if I was alright and started to help me up.

My God he was gorgeous but can you imagine how mortified I was when I turned round to look at him with my face covered in steaming bloody horse shit?

Why does it always sodding happen to us?

Love Myf

​#myfandmor #myfanwy #morwenna #horseshit #whyus #goodfortheroses 

Next Door Neighbour

Myf you old fart
    
Me and my sucking habits need to be kept secret and well under raps! To be honest I’ve had a hell of a job trying to eat - I’m gumming everything to death!

Have you ever tried eating a slice of crusty break with lashings of butter and all you can do it suck it!  Dear Lord, the butter was running down my chin and dripping onto my chest, what a state to get into especially when you’re sitting by the window and the bloody window cleaners come. I took a dive under the kitchen table.

But then I sodding well seized up and got stuck! Not a pretty sight. Luckily the phone fell on the floor as I went down and I rang the guy next door to haul me out.  All he could see as he walked in was my arse in the air. But then me wind became a problem again and as he pulled me out the force of it shot him backwards like a shot out of a gun.

He's avoided me ever since! Can’t see why, must have been the big gummy smile that scared the living shit out of him.

Off to the dentist.
Bye for now,
Mor x

#suckinghabits #noteeth #gummysmile #wind #windowcleaners #nextdoorneighbour